Child Support laws-grandma's venting

filarotten

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#1
Until now, McKinley's mom(Jennifer) has been pretty good about letting Todd see McKinley every week. Todd just moved in with his girlfriend, and let me tell you things have changed. She decided Todd will only see McKinley every other weekend. Friday thru Sunday, per the child support papers. I am so angry. Todd works four days on, four days off. One week of nights the next week, days. This means, he may not even get to spend time with McKinley. Todd pays Jennifer $490. per month in child support and gives her extra money if she needs it. I can't believe she would be this way just for spite. Anyway, why in the h*ll do child support laws feel a father only needs to see his child 2 days every other weekend? I think it is a crappy law. I would think the attorney general, or whomever, would want fathers to spend more time with a child, for bonding, emotional support etc. Who made this law and why
did they deem it necessary for fathers to pay child support then only allow them limited time with a child. Will this have to turn into a custody battle in order for him to spend more time with McKinley?
Will we have to hire an attorney to get this changed or can the attorney generals office change this? I need advice. Anyone else ever have any child support problems?
I know this is long, I'm sorry but this really upsets me. Thanks for listening
 
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#2
That's horrible!! He sounds like a good father...you hear about fathers who pay barely any child support, and don't even care about their kids all the time.
 

filarotten

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#3
He is, and this really upsets me. There is no legitimate reason for Jennifer to be this way. I guess the green eyed monster has stepped in.
 
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#4
You have to go to court to get custody agreements changed. The attorney general or Child Support enforcement has nothing to do with it. It sounds like they don't have joint custody. That's what you would want to go for. I've been through my fair share of that kind or crapola...I feel your pain.
 

Debi

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#5
with 2 BILs and a good friend divorced ....I know in PA, that 'every other weekend' was the best they could get unless both parents agree to shared custody (which believe me, Jennifer won't because of the girlfriend and the support money) my one ex SIL sounds soooo much like Jennifer. one man we know gets his kids every weekend, but again......that's cause the mom said ok, so she can go out. it SUCKS for dads. and while I agree that all deadbeat dads should pay for their children, somewhere along the way (as laws are prone to do), things got sooooo out of hand. I now refer to this as 'marital welfare' since dads pay big bucks. not meaning to get anyone angry....my BIL pays $800. for 2 kids, and alot of people are going to say that isn't much to raise children. BUT, like your Jennifer...his wife also gets the money extra for their activities, etc. back to your question, no..the attorney general won't do anything. they will refer you to your own attorney, and I will also tell you (which you probably know this) all court fees will be paid by your son....and they WILL drag this out. if your Jennifer is like my 2 ex SILs...the fighting would be more upsetting to the kids than the situation already is. BUT...don't you worry...those kids grow quickly, and they'll know how petty their mom was and resent her for it. (((hugs)))
 

filarotten

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#7
I have to say my son was stupid in the beginning. He actually called the attorney general and had the child support set up. He had been giving Jennifer money(cash, unfortunately he didn't listen to mom) since they parted ways. When they got to the Ag's office, Jennifer stuck him with back child support. He couldn't back it up. He swore she would never do that to him.(didn't listen to mom again) They agreed McKinley was better off with Jennifer. He didn't take into account that gave her full custody, not joint custody.
Question, Jennifer stated Todd was supposed to give her 30 days notice before moving in with his girlfriend. Is this true? BTW, Jennifer hates Jamie,(the new gf) they went to school together. Jamie was Todd's first girlfriend in high school, and now they are back together many years later.
 

lucille

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#9
Whatever is on the divorce agreement is what is enforced unless it is legally changed.
I cannot be your attorney since I do not yet have a license, but I am attending law school and if you like I will look at the divorce decree and give you some referrals to decent attorneys I know if that is necessary.
My own personal attorney is in Clear Lake, not far from you.
 

smkie

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#10
you would have to go back to court i believe..the law is weak in two directions.. my ex went almost 20 years without paying.one excuse to the courts after another. He didn't start paying until my daughter was 22, and that is 75 dollars a month for about as long as he will live now. They put him in jail a couple times but it never made any difference. As soon as they would find him he would quit that place and find another. Tug of war only hurts the child the most..tell dad it will be worth it in the long run to go back and fight it legally. That will be his only protection.
 

filarotten

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#11
Lucille, that is so sweet of you to offer. Fortunately/unfortunately no divorce decree. They weren't married.
We and Jennifer's parents have always gotten along fine. We grandmothers try to keep peace(as much as possible) for McKinley's sake. Unfortunately, our children don't always listen. I guess I will call her mom tomorrow and see if she can help. If not, I guess it will have to go to court. Todd doesn't really have the money to do this but, I know if it does happen he will proceed. we do have an attorney, but I don't know if he even deals in child custody issues. We have never used him for that.
 

PixieSticksandTricks

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#12
gaddylovesdogs said:
That's horrible!! He sounds like a good father...you hear about fathers who pay barely any child support, and don't even care about their kids all the time.
Thats my dad and they put a lean on his house.

That is unfair for your son though.
 

sparks19

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#13
yes custody battles suck. My dad pays 500 bucks a month for one child. Has been paying that for about 10 years or more. The custody agreement says that he gets nick every other weekend friday to sunday. Then suddenly Nicks mom decided that she was sending him to a private school (without consulting my dad at all) 5 hours away. Now my dad is lucky if nick is allowed to stay over when he comes home about once a month. I am afraid that he will have to get a lawyer for this one. I hate when people use children as barganing chips.
 

filarotten

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#14
That is the really sad thing. McKinley is the one who is going to suffer. She loves her daddy. He drives an hour each way to pick her up. Jennifer refuses to meet him half way.
I'm not totally ragging on Jennifer, I do love her too. You can't help but become attached to these kids when they are with your child for a long time. But, I am so mad, and hurt right now. She is not looking out for McKinley. No matter how you look at it she is wrong.
 

filarotten

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#16
Todd is 23 and McKinley turned 2 on the 7th of this month. Both so young.
I told him not to trust her saying she was on the pill, and double wrap that thing...but, what do mothers know. lol
But, that is in the past, and I am so in love with McKinley. She is an angel from above.
 

Zoom

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#17
At least it sounds like McKinley knows she's loved, which will help alot. My friend is getting married this weekend to a guy who's ex-wife is a money grubbing b***h. She refuses to get a job, so she takes him for all the child support she can get, which comes out to over 1,000 a month for 2 kids. There's a third, but she's by another daddy...while the ex was still married to my friend's soon-to-be-hubby. :rolleyes: She's so mad about the wedding too...I think she's trying to find a way to get more money.
 

filarotten

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#18
Todd said he is protected from her raising his child support for one more year. At least the AG does give the father protection on that issue for two years. But, knowing Jennifer she will be knocking on the Ag's door the minute that order is up. She was working for Es tee Lauder making 19.00 hourly. She quite her job.(for five months) She is now bar-tending at some restaurant.
 

wildwings811

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#19
I know this isn't of much comfort

My family has also seen the effects of bad child support laws unfortunately my step father has been fighting the courts for many years his daughter was taken away from her mother by child welfare when she was ten for being molested and her father was given custody (my step father) she is now 26 and he owes $75,000.00 in back child support for all the years she lived with us because it was never legally changed in the courts it has been ruled over and over that he owes the money even though he raised his daughter and she has even testified to that

Another case is my SIL she has two sons 10 and three the oldest has never met his father and she recieves no support for him due to an agreement and he terminated his parental rights however the two year olds father is in the picture some what (I guess you could say) although he never gets him for his weekend visits but the thing that makes me so mad is that he works for a tree trimming bussiness and makes $24.75 an hour and only pays $12.00 per week for child support and he don't even pay that :( she has only recieved two payments of $12.00 in two years that can't even buy a can of formula anyways I agree that something has to be done to change these laws
 

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